


Elf Escape

by tinyarmedtrex



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Chaz is awful, Eddie keeps getting hit on, Fake Dating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 22:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16921866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyarmedtrex/pseuds/tinyarmedtrex
Summary: Based on this prompt: There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off? + Working in Retail over the Holidays





	Elf Escape

“Fuck he’s back,” Eddie mumbled under his breath, the bell on his hat rattling as he turned to Stan, looking pained. Stan’s expression mirrored his own and he mouthed ‘sorry’ as 

Chaz sidled up next to them, leaning on the makeshift railing and grinning at Eddie. 

“Heya there Eddie, looking good.” He said, his eyes running up and down Eddie in a salacious way. 

“Thanks,” he replied, trying not to look at Chaz, partially holding he would just disappear if Eddie ignored him. 

“You aren’t supposed to lean on that.” Stan said coldly, looking at Chaz. “Also, if you can’t tell,” He gestured around, “we’re working.”

“Why do you think I’m here? I just started my break so I thought I’d visit my mall partners.” He grinned, then his eyes found Eddie again, staring at him in a way that made Eddie want to run and hide. “I never thought I’d find an elf hot but man, Eddie you look good.”  Chaz worked at the toy store that was across from his job and would stop over nearly every break to talk to Eddie, ask him to get lunch or drinks.

Eddie hated it, hated Chaz. It was bad enough that he was working at the mall over the holidays he had also landed the worst job. He and Stan were both elves at Santa’s workshop, smack in the middle of the mall. They needed extra cash for presents and had decided that it would suck less if they did it together. 

And that was true, to a point. Eddie didn’t actually mind the job- it was fun to watch kids get excited to see Santa and, overall, people were nice. There were, of course, some who complained about the wait and the cost of photos but the interactions were short enough that they didn’t usually ruin his day. The outfit he had to wear- green tights with a green and red suit and hat- was horrible but he was grateful that he wasn’t in retail. Richie and Bill were working in the mall too, at Gamestop and they had hellish stories, especially from black friday. 

What Eddie did hate was Chaz. He had been coming by the workshop every day, asking when Eddie got off work. He had made it clear he wasn't interested but the man was persistent. He seemed to think that if he just kept trying eventually Eddie would come around. Eddie didn’t know how to explain to him that that was even more of a turn off. He didn’t like Chaz at first and now he shot daggers whenever he approached. Stan had offered to be blunt and tell Chaz where he could stick his coffee but Eddie didn’t want that- they had to see each other every day until Christmas. At least Eddie would be done after that, only three weeks. He could deal with it until then. He hoped. 

“Eds! My darling!” Eddie heard from behind him. He turned, seeing Richie and Bill walking up to the workshop. They were all going to get lunch together. “My little Keebler elf!” Richie strolled over, ignoring Chaz’s odd look and grinning at Eddie. 

“Hi guys.” Stan said as they walked behind the workshop and over to where Stan and Eddie were standing. 

“You’re on break now, right? We still on fu-for lunch?” Bill asked, glancing at Chaz. Eddie gave him a small headshake. 

Stan nodded and the two went behind the small cabin, exiting to the storeroom. They weren’t allowed to walk around the mall in their uniforms, the mall was worried it would shatter the illusion if someone saw an elf eating a burger. Eddie didn’t mind, he didn’t want to wear it for a minute longer than necessary. The two clocked out and Eddie cringed as he saw that Chaz was still there, talking to Richie and Bill.

“Chaz here was wondering if he could join us?” Richie asked in a voice that suggested he was curious about what was happening. Eddie was worried about what Chaz had implied in the 5 minutes since they left. His gut twisted as he thought about what Chaz might have told Richie, implying that they were together. That was the last thing that Eddie wanted him to think. 

The interloper flashed Eddie a grin. “I was just telling your friends here that we chat every day when I stop by.” 

Eddie stiffened, he couldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t his break but he didn’t want to spend his minimal free time with this guy. And Richie and Bill were watching him, waiting for Eddie to explain. So he did the first thing that came to mind. He slipped his hand in Richie and quickly kissed his cheek. “I guess it’s alright with me. What do you think honey?” He asked, looking up at Richie and praying that he’d play along.

Richie looked stunned but nodded quickly. “Fine with me,  _ dear _ .”

They turned back to Chaz, who, much to Eddie’s satisfaction, looked like he got hit by a bus. “You have a boyfriend?” He asked, giving Richie the side eye. 

Eddie nodded, still hoping to make it plausible. “I do, this is Richie. Richie, Chaz. Chaz Richie.” Richie gave a small wave.

Chaz gave Richie the side eye and said to Eddie. “You’ve never mentioned him.”

“I’ve always been working, it's not professional.” He answered with a small shrug. 

Chaz didn’t seem to buy it but he nodded. “Well, good to meet you Richie. I think I’ll try to get some shopping done. Thanks for the invite though.” 

Eddie watched Chaz walk off then let out a loud exhale. Smiling, he looked at his friends and saw that they were giving him weird looks. “What?”

“You tu-two are finally dating?” Bill asked, looking at their clasped hands.

“No!” Eddie cried, drawing his hand back. “Chaz has been driving me crazy. Maybe now he’ll leave me alone.” 

“Okay.” Bill said slowly turning to Stan with a small smile.

The pair started walking, heads bowed together, and Eddie turned to Richie. “Sorry about that.” He said. “I needed to do something, he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Richie looked like he wanted to say something. Expressions flashed across his face but he settled on his default one- joking. “It’s alright Eds, I get it, I’m a sexy piece of meat. Everyone wants to say we’re dating.”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie replied, “Yea sure that’s it. Thanks for playing along, I appreciate it.”

Richie nodded and the pair started walking, Eddie filling Richie in on Chaz while they caught up with the others. Richie seemed a little annoyed that Eddie hadn’t told him before but Eddie couldn’t explain to him why he didn’t. Not without saying that Eddie didn’t want to date anyone else or that fake dating Richie had felt like a far too natural move.

Besides, Eddie figured that would be it, that now Chaz would leave him alone. But instead in the next few days Chaz seemed to be watching him closer. It was like he knew that Eddie was lying and wanted to catch him in the act. Eddie told Richie about it one night when they were leaving, tired of having to fend Chaz off at every turn. 

To his surprise, Richie offered to keep up the charade and to start walking Eddie to work everyday. It wasn’t all that different, they usually went to work together anyway, now Richie just came to Santa’s workshop before going to his store. 

The holding hands was different. And not in a way Eddie minded. Richie had always been affectionate, throwing an arm around Eddie, pulling him close, but now they were even closer. Richie seemed to be happy for the added chance to touch Eddie. And Eddie found himself leaning into it, enjoying the closeness and how it soured Chaz’s face when he saw them walking up, sharing a coffee and laughing. 

Richie was a surprisingly good fake boyfriend. He brought Eddie his favorite sugary caffeinated drinks on his break, often with a sugar cookie from one of the bakeries. One day, Eddie forgot his hat Richie snatched his off and pressed it on Eddie’s head, cooing that he couldn’t let his Eddiekins be cold. Eddie had blushed furiously but Richie insisted, claiming he had enough hair that he’d stay warm. He’d even done some last minute shopping with Eddie, helping him decide what to get his mom (though Richie had suggested contouring panyhouse so Eddie wasn’t sure he was actually grateful for that one). 

Walking through the mall with Richie that day, both carrying bags and laughing, it reminded Eddie of high school, when he had been madly in love with Richie. When they started college he’d gotten over his ridiculous crush, finally accepting that Richie didn’t see him like that. But these moments reminded him of why he had all those feelings. Of how good Richie could be, how kind and helpful. 

Richie never once brought up how weird it was for Eddie to ask for this, hadn’t even teased Eddie about it. Eddie had offered to buy him dinner or something, to make up for all the trouble, but Richie had just shrugged, saying he didn’t mind. 

A week later and Richie was waiting to pick Eddie up from his shift. He changed out of his elf outfit and Richie was there like always, leaning against a pillar. He grinned as Eddie walked over. 

“You should wear that for me one day.” Richie said, easily grabbing the bag with Eddie’s outfit and swinging it over his shoulder. 

“My work outfit?” Richie nodded and Eddie laughed. “Is that one of your kinks? Elves?” 

“No, you in tights.” Richie said, winking. 

Eddie flushed, unable to respond. “Here, stop.” Richie said, pulling him in front of the toy store. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Chaz was watching them.

“What’s up?” 

Richie took a step closer to Eddie until they were nearly chest to chest, looking down at him. Taking Eddie’s chin in his hand Richie tilted his face up. His heart was hammering, he thought that Richie was going to kiss him, especially as his other hand came up. But instead it went to Eddie’s hair, ruffling it. 

“You had some fake snow stuck in there.” Richie said, smiling at him. 

“I- thanks.” Eddie said, still staring up at Richie. He had never noticed the gold flecks in his green eyes. He wanted to add something, it felt like the time to say something about how he felt. 

But Richie was already stepping back, his hand falling back to his side. “No problem fake boyfriend.” 

Eddie tried to calm his heart as they walked to lunch, Richie telling him about a customer who insisted that a G-rated version of Grand Theft Auto existed and that he was just refusing to sell it to her. 

The next day Eddie was waiting for Richie to start his break, wandering around the food court, when Chaz found him.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” 

He turned. Chaz had been watching him like a hawk but hadn’t come to talk to him since that first day.  The dirty looks that Richie shot him probably helped. It didn’t surprise Eddie that he was there now, when Richie was nowhere to be seen. 

“He’s on his way.”

Chaz stepped closer. “You two are strange together.” 

Eddie crossed his arms. “How’s that?”

“You’re obviously close but you date like you’re in middle school. It’s all hand holding and awkward glances. I’ve never even seen you kiss.”

“We don’t like PDA.” 

Chaz shrugged. “Sure, maybe. Or-” He leaned in closer, nearly whispering in his ear. “Maybe he’s not the person you want to be with.” Eddie stiffened, trying to move back but he was backed into a wall. 

He had opened his mouth to reply when he heard, “What the fuck are you doing?” Looking behind Chaz he saw Richie, who appeared furious as he stalked over. “Why are you so close to my boyfriend?” 

Chaz shrugged, turning to Richie. “Why’d your boyfriend let me get so close?”

Before Eddie could to anything Richie had drawn back his fist and hit Chaz. It looked like he was aiming for Chaz’s cheek but he missed and hit his chin, which probably hurt them both. They both stumbled back, yelping in pain and Eddie moved quickly, grabbing Richie and dragging him away before he could do anything else.Glancing back he saw Chaz holding his jaw and yelling at them. Eddie didn’t care about him though. He pulled Richie into the back offices where they could be alone.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Eddie asked, grabbing Richie’s hand so he could look at it. It was red but the skin wasn’t broken. He felt it and everything seemed okay. 

“Why were you so close you him?” Richie growled, his voice low. 

Eddie felt his face go red and he tried to explain. “I wasn't! He was hitting on me.” He could tell that Richie wasn’t convinced, he still looked wound up and angry. His shoulders were drawn back and his jaw was tight. 

“Richie it wasn’t anything!” Then Eddie shook his head, realizing how he sounded. Like he was defending himself to his real boyfriend. “We aren’t really dating!” He said, trying to remind both of them. 

Richie’s next sentence was quieter. “Why’d you pick me?” 

“What?” 

Richie looked at him, locking eyes with Eddie. “That day. Why’d you pick me? Bill and Stan were there too. Why’d you pick me?”

“I-” Eddie floundered, trying to think of a reason. It had made sense in the moment. Richie was always there for Eddie, always around to help him. He knew that Richie would go along with it because he always did what Eddie asked, no matter what. 

He looked at Richie then, who was looking at Eddie, his expression a mixture of anger and hope and Eddie wanted to scream at himself for how stupid he had been. The realizations crashed over him. 

Richie treated him differently, always wanting to be close. 

He touched Eddie when he didn’t touched the others. 

He never hesitated when Eddie asked him for something. 

“Oh  _ shit _ .” He whispered, his eyes widening. Richie liked him. Richie had probably liked him for months and Eddie had never even bothered to notice. It had taken him getting into a fight for Eddie to see it. 

Eddie didn’t wait for another smart quip or sex joke from Richie. Instead he put a hand on Richie’s chest and slowly rose to his tiptoes, giving Richie a chance to draw back or say no. But he didn’t. Instead he watched Eddie move closer, closing his eyes only as Eddie kissed him.  Richie kissed back immediately, hands winding around Eddie’s waist. 

“I’m such an idiot.” Eddie said, breaking the kiss and leaning into Richie’s chest. 

Richie just chuckled, not asking Eddie what he meant. “You are. But I still like you.” Richie said, his arms tightening comfortably around Eddie as he added, “Especially in that elf uniform.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Who doesn't love a good fake dating story?


End file.
